


Drown my sorrows

by drelfina



Category: Naruto
Genre: Founders Era, I didn't think that this would be an actual pairing but i should have known better, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Self-cest, but pairing is not non-con, doujin energy style because the rules are made up and the points don't matter, except for when it's not just porn, implied non-con in tobirama's past, just porn, oddly sad porn, self-cest because why not, tobirama is also underage, underage Tobirama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: Tobirama takes a step and he knows it's the past.Who else would feel like this?





	Drown my sorrows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Perelka_L](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perelka_L/gifts).

> based on [ this ](https://twitter.com/19002265km/status/1177677775429201921?s=19) piece of fanart that Perelka_L gave me begging eyes for. 
> 
> And I'm moving tomorrow so might as well.
> 
> self-cest self-cest

He knew he was in the past as soon as he stepped forward. There were Uchiha signatures he'd not felt for years, besides dim recollections of maybe having known them in the Purelands. 

Well. 

He supposed it could have been worse. He'd never made the hiraishin to be used in conjunction with the edo tensei, having made them for two entirely different purposes and it wasn't like he'd ever done a test run on himself. So if the edo tensei interacted far more with the time dimension of the hiraishin... well. 

It wasn't like he could record it... 

Or could he? 

He sensed some signautres there and one Very Strange one. 

And who else could it be, but his younger self?

* * *

The strangest thing was that Tobirama had felt the strange chakra-signature come in, straight away, and he'd just _known_, it was not an enemy. 

High water-affinity, cool-blue-green-ice-moon, and it was like cool dew in an autumn dawn, and he'd never felt anything like it before but he also, when the man swept in on a wave of water and lightning , clearing away the Uchiha enemies like they were so much seaweed, Tobirama KNEW that this was himself. 

"You're hurt," said his older-self, leaning in and taking in Tobirama's injuries. 

"It's. Not bad," Tobirama said, "I - I could have-" 

"it's alright, I know you could have," his older-self said. "Because I did it before. But I wanted to meet you faster than waiting." 

And who would have wanted to see Tobirama so much, they'd rather bat strong Uchiha out of the way just to meet him? 

When his older-self reached down to take his hand, Tobirama was happy to sheathe his sword and reach up.

* * *

"It's so soft," Tobira said, because his _other_ instinct was to blurt out, _I'll get that big?_ and Tobira was not a child, he was his Father's good soldier for a whole _year_ already, a shinobi and a fighter, and he had long since learned to never say the first thing that popped into his head. always the second. Or maybe even the third. Just in case.

"It is," his older-self said, smiling down at him, his skin crinkling oddly. It was a little like cracks, and Tobira wanted to ask why, which was the _first_ thing he'd wanted to ask about, but. 

but he wasn't going to. 

It was some sort of jutsu, some sort of seal, but he could definitely feel the chakra he'd never felt on someone else but it was almost like his mother's. 

(He missed Mother. So much.) 

"You can touch," his older-self said, leaning in - and he wasn't warm like Hashirama, or Father, but he was only a little cooler than mother had been, he remembered how she had been, before she was gone. 

And he reached up to touch the fur, and it was so _soft_, a white fluffy thing, and his older-self pulled him close, arm curling around his waist, pulling him onto his knee, and Tobira could just push his face against the fur and inhale. 

It wasn't a bad smell. It smelled dry, feeling more than _scent_, and he could burrow his face and nose against it, giggling as it tickled his cheeks. 

"It smells like Mother," he said, surprised, because it did. That same, dry-smell of her hair, the almost-wood scent that would have been left by her combs and pins, but it was all more _fluff_, ticklish and warm texture against his skin. 

"it... does," his older self agreed, and his tone didn't change but his chakra signature felt - a wavering. "I hadn't thought about it, for a long time." 

Tobira leaned back to look up at him. "I'm sorry," he said. 

"no," his older self said. "Don't be sorry." and he smiled, a tremulous thing that etched almost like a fissure in earth, and Tobira had to lean up to press his mouth against that almost-crack. 

"But I made you sad," he said. "So you won't be now." 

his older self didn't blink, but he could feel it in the little jitter of his chakra, and his other hand came up to cup Tobira's cheek. "You don't have to make me happy." 

"But I want to."

* * *

how did he end up doing this? 

He didn't know, but maybe it was the way his own eyes were larger than they had any right to be, at this age, and the way his baby-fat made him look like... like Kagami, oddly enough. 

One red-eyed child wasn't the same as the next, but there was something trusting in the way Tobira was clinging to him that even Kagami, orphan as he was, had never done, and he pressed a kiss to his forehead, again. 

Again. 

The first time, he knew, it hadn't been like this. Not for him. 

The Uchiha who he had swept away? 

Had not left so easily, the first time. 

This time, though, he was going to make sure that the touch Tobira felt was something _safe_. 

"It'll be alright," he said, he promised, and let Tobira clutch his hands into the soft fluff of his fur stole, the one that Tobira had reminded him smelled like _Mother_, and pulled him closer, sliding his hand down Tobira's pants. 

(Did he have time? he didn't know. He didn't know how long he had, because this was the first time using the hiraishin like this, but he wanted to give his younger self this, at least, make it easier..) 

"will it hurt?" 

It hurt the first time. It'd hurt and he'd been terrified and he thought it'd never end, until he used his water-bullet jutsu, and he never wanted Tobira to have to resort to that. 

"No," he said, and kissed Tobira, soft as he could, considering his body, and Tobira arched up - didn't _flinch_. 

"It doesn't have to hurt." 

And he would make sure that Tobira's first time _never_ hurt. 

It was the work of a moment to slick his fingers - a tiny application of suiton at just the right consistency that would act like a good lubricant, and Tobira, trusting, tiny, little Tobira, just gasped into his mouth at the first press of his finger. 

He was tight, so tight, but he kept kissing, and stroking his back, and letting Tobira cling to his stole until he relaxed a little more. 

"Good?" 

"feels... weird," Tobira said, soft, into the stole. 

An admission that he'd never make to anyone but himself, he knew, because even at this age, TObira would have learned to keep his pains and hurts to himself. He had healed himself after this, washed away the blood and he had made sure he didn't limp home. 

This time he'd use however long Tobira needed so he wouldn't have to twist himself into knots trying to heal himself. 

"It'll get better," he promised, and let Tobira burrow his face against his neck as he added another finger. 

By the time Tobira was relaxed enough for three fingers, he could feel Tobira was squirming against him, making little confused noises. 

"It feels better now, right?" he said, soothingly, while Tobira nodded, mutely. And so he crooked his fingers, just, just so gently, at that just, correct angle - 

And Tobira gasped, bucking against him. 

In this body, he couldn't feel much, but the whole point of this was for Tobira, not himself. 

It was, after all, past his time.

* * *

His older-self hadn't said much, but he'd seemed so sad, and he'd also told him what would have happened, if he hadn't arrived just then. 

Who else could you trust, but yourself? He felt like something so strange yet so intimately familiar, and his fur-stole smelled like mother, and unlike the past months after Itama's death, such gentleness holding him close was almost alien, and Tobira desperately wanted to keep it close. 

When he said he wanted his first time to be not at all like his older-self's, of course it made sense that the only one he could trust was himself, right? 

And so far - it felt strange, weird, but it also felt very good (if very wet), even with the strange-weird full feeling. 

But his older-self was holding him close, surrounding him with a chakra that was his own (and when he left, Tobira would never feel it again) and it was like being held by his family, except even more intimate and if he cried he didn't think he'd be able to stop. 

"Shh, shh, it's alright, you can cry," his older self said, and Tobira didn't even have to _explain_ anything. Didn't have to say anything except burrow his face again, and probably getting the fur wet. 

Those fingers shifted again, a slow wet slide and then in that SPOT that made him hiccup wetly against his older self's neck and armour. "shhh. that's - here," he felt the fur being pulled down, repositioned so he wouldn't be pushed against the hard armour, and all he felt was the warm soft-dry of the fur. "Like this. Better?" 

It was better. it was so much better.

* * *

He could feel the dampness against his neck; it was that time wasn't it? Those months after, when Anija had turned away towards his Best friend, and left Tobirama alone to deal with the ache of his youngest brother gone. Their Father, almost absent with the frantic pace of war and missions, leaving Tobira increasingly alone . 

He had - he didn't even have an hour, he didn't think, so all he could do was murmur soft words of comfort, and work his fingers, even and careful till Tobira gasped and shuddered agianst him, the spike of his chakra's pleasure a little jolt against his own. 

he kissed Tobira's forehead, his hair, felt him go limp against his chest. 

There was something in the air now, the electric feel of the hiraishin, so he kissed Tobira again, this time on the cheeks - either side, then his chin. "You'll be alright, Tobira," he promised, and pulled off the fur from his shoulders, wrapping it around Tobira's too-small shoulders, smiling down at the wide, dazed gaze. 

"You'll be fine." 

And then there was a flash of white, and he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> and then boom end of porn 
> 
> Title is from "Silver Threads and Golden Needles"
> 
> Also, L promised me art. *rubs hands* doot doot dooo~


End file.
